Bounce, Rock, Skate, Roll
by chairdesklamp
Summary: KSH test of how well would teenage!Giselle do with the Unohanas. Also writing Askin for the first time. The quincies are a West Virginian family/cult and Bach was 90 because quincies were stated to be mortal. Apparently a concussion and tonne of stress combine to make me write in cartoony ways I would have worshiped at...age 12. Rating because of a marijuana reference and sex gag.


Concept: Set in winter 2015. 14 year old Giselle is adopted by Kenpachi and Unohana (and becomes Yachiru's little sister). Setting is it took(Mongolian) Kenpachi 100 years to learn Japanese. He did his squad's accounting single-handedly; he's not stupid-he's just terrible at languages. Giselle is the 14 year old daughter of West Virginian Bach and only speaks English and some German, which Bach got from his parents. I need to see how Kenpachi and Giselle would communicate/get along with the barrier.

Riding in the back of a pickup is fun, but illegal in California. Also, fun fact-Orange County CA is often called OC.

"Roller skaters, one in front and one behind

Bounce left, bounce right, it's disco time"- "Bounce, Rock, Skate, Roll," Vaughan Mason and Crew, USA, 1979

Questionable legality regardless, Askin had come to find that one of the few joys in life was to be found in the covered cab of Kenpachi's pickup truck, windowless and easy to bake out, as he sped them down the highway to Orange County, still full of joys like arcades and roller rinks-a rarity in 2016.

They pulled up at one such place, and Kenpachi turned to them, translated by Yachiru for the non-Japanese speakers among them.

"I'll let all of you off here. Yachiru's taken Giselle skating a lot, but she and probably Askin will need help to rent skates."

"The ones they have here buckle onto your shoes," Ichigo offered as they went inside.

"I'm not exactly a fan of bowling," Grimmjow added, "But you rent shoes for that, and if you ever go, bring a can of disinfectant spray."

"Else you might need to consider amputation," Ulquiorra added from the back.

Yachiru spun around energetically from where she and her newly adopted sister headed up the group, "I'll help!"

"Me too!" Giselle enthusiastically seconded her sister.

"No one's cutting off their feet!" Grimmjow exclaimed.

"She's gonna do just fine with them," Yasuko crossed her arms. Chad nodded with an assenting grunt.

Coyote looked sidelong at Askin as they reached the rental booth, "What size're you, anyways?"

Askin blinked, shrugging wordlessly, knowing most twenty-somethings knew their shoe size.

"How about we try to guess while they're finding ones for Giselle? If they don't fit you can just trade-it happens all the time."

"Ah, yeah, I reckon," Askin shrugged once more.

Grimmjow nodded him over to a bench, Ichigo and Coyote following.

Grimmjow sat and unzipped one boot, handing it to Askin, "Let's start with this-try it on and we'll see how it fits."

Askin slipped off his own homemade loafer and put the boot on just as Giselle and Yachiru rejoined them.

"Bambi made all our shoes," she looked down at her hands clasped in front of her.

Yachiru put a hand on her shoulder, "I think she'll figure out you just wanted to keep her alive...You have full permission to make me a zombie, though. It'd be hella cool!"

Giselle smiled and leant her head on Yachiru's shoulder, watching as Grimmjow knelt in front of Askin to find his toes in the boot without really watching at all.

Askin handed Grimmjow his boot back, and they tried Coyote's loafer.

"Almost, but not quite."

Ichigo turned around to see Ulquiorra coming back with a bottle of water.

"We should all be drinking water after smoking in the truck before we begin what amounts to exercise."

"Good idea, but first, your shoe," Ichigo jerked his thumb behind him to where Grimmjow and Askin were.

Deciding that Ulquiorra's was as close to a fit as non-tailored shoes would get, they had a size nine pulled for Askin.

"Our skates tend to run half a size large," the clerk warned him, "so try the nine, but you may need an eight and a half."

"Told you," Grimmjow said, leaning on the counter before turning to grab the usual sizes for Ichigo and the rest.

Ichigo and Chad supported Askin as the took the first steps in his life onto a roller skating rink.

Ichigo looked up at the speakers as an Exposé album blared out.

"The music is a bit more up-tempo than you want to move at for your first time."

"I'm all alone!" Yasuko called past a young couple in sundresses.

Ichigo glimpsed Grimmjow off talking with Retu, no doubt about nursing positions at her hospital, the two gliding slowly, Ulquiorra circling the perimeter of the rink solitarily.

He nodded to Chad, "I've got this, you go join her."

Chad gave a thumbs up and skated over to their daughter.

Ichigo skated around to face Askin, holding his upper arms on both sides.

"We'll try this like dancing lessons-you put your hands on my shoulders, I'll put my hands on your sides, and first, you'll move forward. Remember how to stop?"

"Yeah, lower the big thing on the bottom front."

"Right. If you need to stop at any time," just tell me."

"Alright."

"Okay, let's go."

Yachiru turned and whispered in Giselle's ear, "Remember when we played 'crack the whip' with Daddy last week?"

"Yeah, that was really fun!"

"Let's play it with everyone here-I bet it'll make their day!"

Giselle excitedly nodded, and the two split up around their mother and Grimmjow.

"I take the U.S. licence exam on the-AAH!" Grimmjow was cut off as Yachiru flung him against the wall.

Retu bounced back laughing madly from where Giselle had flung her, "That's no way to fling me! I'll show you how it's done!"

Coyote turned around from where he'd been leaning over the wall, "Oh, hey, Ken."

Not a moment later found him trying to free his leg from the opposite side of the wall after flying into it.

"Oh, Papa, I can't wait to graduate next year!" Yasuko said in Spanish, "I guess high school sucks everywhere."

"Well," Chad answered, "it seems to be for different reasons here than in Kanagawa provi-"

Chad went silent as he was flung into the wall that crumbled under him where he fell.

Yasuko's yell, however, was what alerted the two at the far end of the rink.

Ichigo looked at Askin with rounded eyes, "You run-I'm getting the others!"

Kenpachi joined his younger daughter, laughing like a madman.

"Violence!" Kenpachi shouted most of his English vocabulary to her, "Then-potatoes!"

"And meat!" Giselle exclaimed back.

Chad was already carrying Yasuko away, so Ichigo switched tasks to helping Grimmjow hobble away.

"Hey!" Kenpachi stormed up to them, grabbing one arm each, "Violence!"

Ichigo turned the bone-breaking fall against the rink into a bone-spraining fall against the rink, helplessly watching as Grimmjow went flying in the opposite direction out of control.

Askin crawled where he had fallen down and escaped the rink.

"Oh Jesus," he whispered, peering over the wall to see the carnage.

He felt something plastic poke his forearm and turned to see Ulquiorra sitting hidden from view, leaning against the wall.

"Water?" Ulquiorra offered another bottle.

The two ladies in sundresses approached the booth.

The clerk looked at the rink, bored.

"Welcome to California," he answered, "they're probably filming."

Retu joined her husband, glancing peacefully around the rink, "They've had so much fun, I'm afraid they're pooped!"

Kenpachi laughed and skated over to where Grimmjow sat slumped, in a stupor, where he fell, joined by Yachiru at his left.

"You've gotten soft, ain'tcha?" He grinned.

Grimmjow pointed a finger and scowled at empty space to Kenpachi's right.

"Yeah!? Well, you're a bloody one to talk, George!"

He fell to his right, unconscious.

"Poor babies," Retu clucked her tongue, "You can't even have real fun without getting all hurt."

Grimmjow narrowed his eyes at her as she tightened the bandage around his head, "I don't like what you're implying..."

Yasuko glanced at him and Ichigo, motioning towards Ichigo's braced ankles and knees as well with her arm that was in a sling, "Geez, and I thought I sprained one of everything!"

"How are you doing?" Grimmjow asked Chad who came up behind her.

Chad shrugged, "Cut my finger."

Ichigo sighed in mock disgust.

"I feel like I should feel bad about hiding," Askin confessed.

"I don't," Ulquiorra chimed in.

Askin regarded him with a nod before he continued.

"We can help out while they recover."

"I got a souvenir!" Coyote called out as he hobbled in on crutches.

"From where?" Came a familiar voice from the other side of a privacy curtain.

With a sinking feeling of dread, Coyote turned to where he'd heard his eldest son's voice.

The shadow the occupant cast looked rather like one man with long, straight hair, sitting on the lap of a both slightly taller and wider one who had a ponytail. The shadow also suggested the two were caught in something at least the shape of a large tyre.

"Shit," muttered the same voice.

"Renji...?" Coyote confirmed.

"Open this curtain and your current wounds shall seem mere scratches," came Byakuya's voice.

"Saw it on the internet," Renji called out before falling silent.

"Hey!" Kenpachi called from the door, his arms loaded down with food trays, once more attempting English with Giselle just behind him.

"Daddy says he's sorry you all had too much fun, and got you all food."

Kenpachi offered the trays forward to the group, piled with nothing but hash browns.

"Yummy Violence the potatoes!"

" _No_!" all but Retu and Yachiru shouted simultaneously.

"Giselle?" Renji's voice came from behind the curtain, "Can we have some?"

Ichigo picked up the phone at his bedside, now dialling his work.

With luck, Ikumi picked up, issuing the company's greeting. Surely, as well as she and Issin were getting on, she'd have some pity.

"Hey, it's me. I can't come in tomorrow-some of us went to the rink with Uncle Kenpachi and his kids, and-"

"A week?"

Ichigo glanced at his braces, "Probably. Thanks."

Byakuya glared at Ichigo from his wheelchair, "I envy you for the simplicity of that call."

Grimmjow grimanced as he gently sat himself next to his husband, "How'd it go with the bank."

"They wanted a note," Byakuya elaborated through gritted teeth.

"Well, she knows my dad has my younger kids until further notice already, so she was aware... but did you get to keep details private, at least?"

"The subject is closed," Byakuya turned his chair facing away.

A knock came at the door.

"Who is it?" Yasuko called out, headed to the door.

"It's me," Giselle answered.

Yasuko opened the door.

"Mom and Dad want to know if you all wanna try something different next weekend."

Askin came in from the kitchen.

"I'm almost afraid to ask."

"What is it?" Ichigo asked through an obviously fake grin.

"Rock climbing!"


End file.
